My Blog

Talkin’ to the mirror, whispering your name
It’s just like you were here, you’d think I was insane
I hold these conversations in the silence of my room
Rehearsing all the things I’d say should I run into you

How’s it goin’, might be what I’d say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I’ve missed you
Since you went away
You’re lookin’ well
Or go to hell
Might be what I’d say

There’s time I’ve been so angry
I could put my fist right through the wall
And then there’s times I’ve come so close
To givin’ you a call
I love you and I hate you
All at the same time
Then I pray you’ll come back to me
Before I lose my mind

How’s it goin’, might be what I’d say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I’ve missed you
Since you went away
You’re lookin’ well
Or go to hell
Might be what I’d say

Or maybe, God I’ve missed you
Since you went away
You’re lookin’ well
Or go to hell
Might be what I’d say

i am getting a car today.. i have 2 choices that i want.. the mazda rx8 or the eclipse… i like them both.. the mazda i want iz already at the dealer but the eclipse i will have 2 wait 1 week b4i get it.. i donno what the fuck 2 do.. i have to make my choice today.. well it dont actually have 2 be to day.. but i thiz iz my personal deadline haha..any help PPl??? haha.. 

‘alst night i got fucked up.. and got jumped.. was retarted.. lots of drama yesturday.. i left the company i was working for..  after 2 1/2  months.. i get juz a 1 dollar raise.. that iz fucking retarted.. they told me different but when i went in 2 get my check it was only 1 dollar.. fuckers.. we talked forahile and end up arguing. he was trying 2 blame ajob on me that i di dnot even do.. i was not even working for the company at the time they did that job.. all i did was   fix their fuck ups.. he iz angry at the money they lost because of the shit i fixed.. i think it is best 2 fix it now.. than 2 have an accident later.. i wanted 2 beat hiz ass so bad.. but he bitched out.. told me 2 leave haha fucking faggot..

i transfered 3 of my cds 2 anothe bank and open some stock.. i donno what will happen..  i went 2 a concert with the girl that helped me.. but was not og0d. haha.. i got my ass jumped.. they were faggots though could not fight 1 on 1.. they did to start with.. till they seen their friend getting hiz ass beat.. haha.. then i got jumped.. buti think it was because of that bitch iwas with.. sorry females that dont like that word.. but she iz.. so credit iz give when it iz.. haha.. was told that b4.. it is so fucking stupid the bank.. they have cds that start at 2400.. and they go by 6 month increment but the monly iz only insured up 2 10,000 so why do they let you ionvest more than that?? they wil not tell you.. only if you ask.. this is a local bank.. that iz why tried with them..

You took your coat off, and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
And I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside, looking in, on you
You were always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair
You were, fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you
This is me down on my knees

These foolish games are tearing me apart
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You’re breaking my heart

You were always brilliant in the morning
Smoking your cigarettes, and talking over coffee
You’re philosophies on Art Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you’d speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar

(You’d teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line
I must’ve gone off track with you)

Excuse me, think I’ve mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself

yea how i feel haha.. i donno if u will ever read thiz girl… we been through alot together.. did alot of things together.. i love you always.. i donno what will happen from here haha.. i post thiz here thinking one day.. u might find me again like you did b4.. we are apart nowi know.. but i am here haha.. iz stupid but true.. haha… yea.. u know.. right???

Take a deep breath
‘Cause it all starts now
When you pull the fuckin’ pin
The shrapnel burns as it tears into your skin
Ever wonder what it takes
To be questioning your faith
This is what it’s like
When it happens every Goddamn day

Violence is our way of life

Shards of life like confetti in the air
The flesh storm grows as it breeds despair
You hear the screams in the distance
Fighting the resistance
Not cries of war
These are just the sounds of pain

"IT’S ALL JUST PSYCHOTIC DEVOTION
MANIPULATION WITH NO DESCRETION"

Killings in style and it’s now the main event
The camaras are whores for the daily bloodshed
Like a junkie hungry for a fix of anything
The media devours and feasts upon the inhumane

Violence is our way of life

It’s all too fucking clear we can never coincide
So lets all drink to genocide
All the venomous sights border on the arcane
In times of war everything is bound by pain

"IT’S ALL JUST PSYCHOTIC DEVOTION
MANIPULATION WITH NO DESCRETION"

Warfare knows no compassion
Thrives with no evolution
Unstable minds exacerbate unrest in peace

There’s no future
The world is dead
So save that last bullet
For your head

ONLY THE FALLEN HAVE WON
BECAUSE THE FALLEN CAN’T RUN
MY VISIONS NOT OBSCURE
"FORWAR THERE IS NO CURE"
SO HERE THE ONLY LAW
IS "MEN KILLING MEN
FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S CAUSE"!!

"IT’S ALL JUST PSYCHOTIC DEVOTION
MANIPULATION WITH NO DESCRETION"

damn.. today at work i got injured.. smashed my hand.. FUCK!!!… almost bled to death.. haha.. not really.. but lost enough blood 2 get me ooozy.. had 2 go to the hospital… lol.. which sucked.. wot else.. hmmm my first match iz in 5 weeks.. haha.. have not done much training.. most of the gyms i have found and trainers.. juz want money.. they are not about the sport.. iz sad.. and fucked up haha.. so we shall see what happens.. i got 2 drop 20 pounds by then.. should not be hard.. well i gots 2 go 2 bed now.. the meds are kicking in.. makeing me feel funny.. haha..

last night.. hmmm i got fucked up.. but i did not go like like friday… juz chilled with a friend i had not spoke with in ages.. or seen…. i hope i did not tell her anything stupid.. haha i got up thiz morning and was here alone.. haha.. i dont want 2 call her.. i will let her call me… i know we talk bout alot of things… back when her and i were together and stuff… i think i remeber most of the things we talked about… or could  juz be the beginning i remember haha.. i donno we shall see.. damn miss her already haha… donno if u will ready thiz but ty for last night Hailey.. emotional time haha.. umm i got 2 shower now..

All things dull and ugly
All creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons
Each little wasp that stings
He made their brutish venom
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous
All evil great and small
All things foul and dangerous
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet
Each beastly little squid
Who made the spikey urchin,
Who made the sharks?  He did.

All things scabbed and ulcerous
All pox both great and small
Putrid, foul and gangrenous
The Lord God made them all……

?

Amen
Forgive me father Forgive me God I know I’ve sinned With no remorse Apocalyptic visions Went through my head Here today Gone tomorrow It’s all insane I’m feeling sick I’m feeling numb The storm will come In the name of God I’m the chosen one Terror raids the land To ashes we’ll be sent In the name of God Lives cast away Martyrdom of myself Armageddon comes In the name of God Not one more dead Fire blasting, cutting edge Children burn in flames In the name of God We’re going insane Let us die You don’t realize This is the time God’s sacrifice Leaving behind Lesson in hate In the name of God We’re all dead Burn!

‘tiz 3 am right now i juz got home.. had a wild night…. i did not get that buzz so i cannot sleep…. but i am getting there.. lol yea.. i dont work tomorrow.. it iz go0d friday.. i think i will go back 2 the ranch thiz weekend.. o0h yea.. i been lo0king for a gym.. still cannot find 1 i like.. i think i can train on my own.. but i will not be as motivated as if someone was there talking shit.. haha..  i got some shrooms week  ago.. i had forgot about them..  thursday.. i had bout a gram… not very much.. but damn.. shit fucked me up.. i had never tripped that hard.. lol..  i was watching the history channel.. they were talking about leonardo de vince…  i donno why but the trip i had was like i was there with him.. lol.. i have one clear memory.. i was with him in some corridor.. or something..  he was trying 2 make something.. lol i donno. i knew i was trippin but i still got lost in my dream….   i could not sleep.. actually i did not want 2 sleep… everytime my body calm down.. i felt something like an electric pulse run through my body… so i had 2 keep awake.. lol go0d thing no one was here at the time.. lol.. did not want them 2 trip on me trippin.. haha  i do not know why i got so much..  i wonder if they spoil?????  lol  or iz it the spoil properties.. that give the trip?  i got 2 lo0k into it.. lol… i was thinkin go0d 4 awhile.. think everything iz kicking in now.. i cannot think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha… ummm ok.

It’s the same ol’ shit in the same ass place
my studio smells like ten ash trays
my nigga still gettin’ too fucked up
And I’m still smokin’ too much blunts
Haters always gon’ run they mouth
And keep tryin’ to take me out
Mama always gonna worry herself
And me I can’t forget the pain I felt
Even though I drive a new 6 double 0
They be thinkin’ like "What is Los frontin’ for?"
I bought a club and they filled up with envy
Now every body pissed cuz they can’t get in free
New enemies still poppin’ up
Throw away gats still chop ‘em up
I walk in and the whole club stands still
More money more problems that’s real

This is what an ol’ G told me
filthy rich and dyin’ lonely
"Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."

This is what an ol’ G told me
filthy rich and dyin’ lonely
"Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."

My little baby-girl just turned 6
I gave her the biggest room in my crib
she gets what she wants so does her mama
I don’t think they know the value of a dollar
fine-ass bitches all in my limosine
I just wish I was jumpin’ on my trampoline
But my babies I miss my children
To me that’s worth more than trillions and trillions
She calls me "Fat-boy" says I’m "loco"
And she doesn’t understand when I gotta go
Hope she doesn’t think I don’t wanna be wit her
Hope she knows that it hurts not to be wit her
Hope she knows that wit her I’m the happiest
I can’t make it to her piano practices
When I was young my ol’ man left us
And I pray dat she won’t be like I was

This is what an ol’ G told me
filthy rich and dyin’ lonely
"Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."

This is what an ol’ G told me
filthy rich and dyin’ lonely
"Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."

Playa hataz wanna play me close
Do you really wanna meet Carlos?
Do you really wanna feel my wrath?
Mad cuz your bitch want my aut-o-graph
Nigga I don’t wanna fuck yo’ hoe
But I’ll let her suck my dick and lick my ass-hole (ha-hah)
Started out with a silly game of footsie
Now I got her eatin’ out her best friends pussy
Rollin’ hydro sippin’ on Chris
When I was broke I would dream about this
Get my back rubbed in a big bath tub
I don’t know her name but she’s showin mad love
I got 7 G’s sittin’ in my pants
And my jewlry is underneath those lamps
I’m gettin’ sleepy all you hoes gotta bail
Once again I’m in the bed by myself
All alone in another city
I get my bill the Chris was 9.50
2 G’s for them bottles of Don P
It was just me and the hoes was free

This is what an ol’ G told me
filthy rich and dyin’ lonely
"Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."

This is what an ol’ G told me
filthy rich and dyin’ lonely
"Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."

Yeah, fuck a benz, fuck a rolly, family comes first, and I’m alone,
Ye-e-e-eah.
This is what an ol’ G told me, He died lonely…

wot do u think????u know who  u are