My Blog

people believe.. in him so much.. yet have never met him.. ppl worship him so much.. but have never met him… believe so much in something that causes so much pain…. to creat a world iz to control it.. so why not improve it… then juz watch it kill it’s self??? so many religions.. so many wars over religions.. have to ask.. iz this the reason for them???? if all was true there would only be one religion… .. war.death,illness,drugs.. iz all bout of life.. iz all needed.. world cannot survive with out it…lol.. religion…. haha.. we are suppose to learn from our history.. not let it control us.. so why do it????? i’d say more.. but i am going to bed.. all i have to say bout that.. lol hahaha..

damn today was a trip.. we are doing a job out in the forest.. it iz nice no one around.. so we can toke all we want.. haha.. but thiz morn ing my couz told me.. there iz    some crazy dude r unning around near our job site with a gun.. i did not belive him.. so i went on with my day.. he left to get some supplies.. but around 2.. i heard some gun shots.. but did not know where they came from..  a few mins later… thiz guy came up saying for us to hide.. i did not understand.. and i seen thiz guy comming towards my workers with a gun..  did not know what to do.. lol.. i did not have shit.. haha.. he started shooting.. so we got in my truck ‘n drove uop the road.. after we stopped.. we seen a gang load of cops comming out from the forest following him… he was almost off our site.. when he turned and started to shoot.. he shot one police.. and they open fire on him.. i donno how many things.. but i know he was dead.. was a trip.. the shit that happens at work.. lol c razy… that was my day..

damn.. finally we are finish with thiz job.. i started with this company in early april… dont remember the date.. haha.. my cousin and i start with thiz company then… they were almost 4 months behind… the due day was august 2nd… juz a few weeks b4 we finished… so fucking co0..  the other concret contractors are talking…  so are the city ‘n state inspectors.. they thought we could not do it… they thought we juz some young punks that cannot do it.. we finished the first phase in less than a month…. when the inspectors seen that shit.. the thought it was some veterians doing the work..  now we finally got their respect… so fucking co0..  last year i tried 2 apply for my res. contracting license.. but fell short for the insurance bond…. i was stupid to try it then.. within the few months i worked here… i have learned alot more.. so i guess it was go0d, that i did not get it.. haha.. but yea.. i think i will stay with this company for the rest of this year.. then i donno.. haha… yea.. juz excited bout finishing my first project… from start….

aloha.. ppl.. lol..just a fucking boring ass sunday…. tizzz 2 pm right now.. i am waiting for my pizzza to arrive… lil buz other than that.. all iz go0d…    juz rec my first track of music.. last night… hope all goes well… i think i should take thiz serious but i cannot… juz feels like a dream.. ppl wanting me 2  produce their music… feels fake.. so i treat it that way.. i know i should not…  juz feel once it becomes nice.. it will be taken away from me.. like everything else….. i donno.. we shal see what happens…

     i bought some fish a bout a month ago.. 25 per fish.. and 3 died in 2 days… i did not know i could take them back…. so the following weekend. i bought 2 more fish.. some kinda hybred fish, with jelly fish dna.. they glow… one glows lime green the other glows red-orange..  they killed the other fish… fucked up… but iz ok… now the red one killed the yellow or lim green one…. i want 2 get rid of him.. kill him.. but yet he iz so cool.. he will eat the o2 bubbles that are sent down from the filter.. i think it gives him a high.. he will swim around the tank for hours… then take anther hit and swimm again.. so fucking funny.. but yea.. that iz all for today.. for thiz week.. lol..  bye

Talkin’ to the mirror, whispering your name
It’s just like you were here, you’d think I was insane
I hold these conversations in the silence of my room
Rehearsing all the things I’d say should I run into you

How’s it goin’, might be what I’d say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I’ve missed you
Since you went away
You’re lookin’ well
Or go to hell
Might be what I’d say

There’s time I’ve been so angry
I could put my fist right through the wall
And then there’s times I’ve come so close
To givin’ you a call
I love you and I hate you
All at the same time
Then I pray you’ll come back to me
Before I lose my mind

How’s it goin’, might be what I’d say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I’ve missed you
Since you went away
You’re lookin’ well
Or go to hell
Might be what I’d say

Or maybe, God I’ve missed you
Since you went away
You’re lookin’ well
Or go to hell
Might be what I’d say

i am getting a car today.. i have 2 choices that i want.. the mazda rx8 or the eclipse… i like them both.. the mazda i want iz already at the dealer but the eclipse i will have 2 wait 1 week b4i get it.. i donno what the fuck 2 do.. i have to make my choice today.. well it dont actually have 2 be to day.. but i thiz iz my personal deadline haha..any help PPl??? haha.. 

‘alst night i got fucked up.. and got jumped.. was retarted.. lots of drama yesturday.. i left the company i was working for..  after 2 1/2  months.. i get juz a 1 dollar raise.. that iz fucking retarted.. they told me different but when i went in 2 get my check it was only 1 dollar.. fuckers.. we talked forahile and end up arguing. he was trying 2 blame ajob on me that i di dnot even do.. i was not even working for the company at the time they did that job.. all i did was   fix their fuck ups.. he iz angry at the money they lost because of the shit i fixed.. i think it is best 2 fix it now.. than 2 have an accident later.. i wanted 2 beat hiz ass so bad.. but he bitched out.. told me 2 leave haha fucking faggot..

i transfered 3 of my cds 2 anothe bank and open some stock.. i donno what will happen..  i went 2 a concert with the girl that helped me.. but was not og0d. haha.. i got my ass jumped.. they were faggots though could not fight 1 on 1.. they did to start with.. till they seen their friend getting hiz ass beat.. haha.. then i got jumped.. buti think it was because of that bitch iwas with.. sorry females that dont like that word.. but she iz.. so credit iz give when it iz.. haha.. was told that b4.. it is so fucking stupid the bank.. they have cds that start at 2400.. and they go by 6 month increment but the monly iz only insured up 2 10,000 so why do they let you ionvest more than that?? they wil not tell you.. only if you ask.. this is a local bank.. that iz why tried with them..

You took your coat off, and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
And I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside, looking in, on you
You were always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair
You were, fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you
This is me down on my knees

These foolish games are tearing me apart
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You’re breaking my heart

You were always brilliant in the morning
Smoking your cigarettes, and talking over coffee
You’re philosophies on Art Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you’d speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar

(You’d teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line
I must’ve gone off track with you)

Excuse me, think I’ve mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself

yea how i feel haha.. i donno if u will ever read thiz girl… we been through alot together.. did alot of things together.. i love you always.. i donno what will happen from here haha.. i post thiz here thinking one day.. u might find me again like you did b4.. we are apart nowi know.. but i am here haha.. iz stupid but true.. haha… yea.. u know.. right???

Take a deep breath
‘Cause it all starts now
When you pull the fuckin’ pin
The shrapnel burns as it tears into your skin
Ever wonder what it takes
To be questioning your faith
This is what it’s like
When it happens every Goddamn day

Violence is our way of life

Shards of life like confetti in the air
The flesh storm grows as it breeds despair
You hear the screams in the distance
Fighting the resistance
Not cries of war
These are just the sounds of pain

"IT’S ALL JUST PSYCHOTIC DEVOTION
MANIPULATION WITH NO DESCRETION"

Killings in style and it’s now the main event
The camaras are whores for the daily bloodshed
Like a junkie hungry for a fix of anything
The media devours and feasts upon the inhumane

Violence is our way of life

It’s all too fucking clear we can never coincide
So lets all drink to genocide
All the venomous sights border on the arcane
In times of war everything is bound by pain

"IT’S ALL JUST PSYCHOTIC DEVOTION
MANIPULATION WITH NO DESCRETION"

Warfare knows no compassion
Thrives with no evolution
Unstable minds exacerbate unrest in peace

There’s no future
The world is dead
So save that last bullet
For your head

ONLY THE FALLEN HAVE WON
BECAUSE THE FALLEN CAN’T RUN
MY VISIONS NOT OBSCURE
"FORWAR THERE IS NO CURE"
SO HERE THE ONLY LAW
IS "MEN KILLING MEN
FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S CAUSE"!!

"IT’S ALL JUST PSYCHOTIC DEVOTION
MANIPULATION WITH NO DESCRETION"

damn.. today at work i got injured.. smashed my hand.. FUCK!!!… almost bled to death.. haha.. not really.. but lost enough blood 2 get me ooozy.. had 2 go to the hospital… lol.. which sucked.. wot else.. hmmm my first match iz in 5 weeks.. haha.. have not done much training.. most of the gyms i have found and trainers.. juz want money.. they are not about the sport.. iz sad.. and fucked up haha.. so we shall see what happens.. i got 2 drop 20 pounds by then.. should not be hard.. well i gots 2 go 2 bed now.. the meds are kicking in.. makeing me feel funny.. haha..

last night.. hmmm i got fucked up.. but i did not go like like friday… juz chilled with a friend i had not spoke with in ages.. or seen…. i hope i did not tell her anything stupid.. haha i got up thiz morning and was here alone.. haha.. i dont want 2 call her.. i will let her call me… i know we talk bout alot of things… back when her and i were together and stuff… i think i remeber most of the things we talked about… or could  juz be the beginning i remember haha.. i donno we shall see.. damn miss her already haha… donno if u will ready thiz but ty for last night Hailey.. emotional time haha.. umm i got 2 shower now..